Thanks again

Life is strange sometimes. I was out last night at a bar and I met this really cool guy. He was like 40 but we sat and chatted for a few hours about random shit. One of the things we decided is that we'd give up any amount of money for the love of the perfect woman. It started me thinking about my pursuits and all the harsh realities. I established a long time ago that I'm set in my place for life - or most of it anyway. My family is here, my jobs, most of my friends. I don’t see myself leaving anytime in the near future, if at all. I have no desire to live anywhere else. I have gotten serious with a few girls in the past that this was an issue with. The first few times I made the mistake of not saying anything until the question arose and it let to the demise. Now I make sure to throw it out as soon as I can for the fear that I'll get the wrong answer. I'm not out to change anyone or make them deviate from any plan for me. I would never ask someone to stay and be with me and not go off and live their life. It would be the worst thing I could ask of anyone and I'd fear that they would regret it in the future. I've been through a lot in my life. I've met many many people, both good and bad. I've traveled all over. I've seen things I'll probably never see again. I like to think I'm fairly educated. I'm old enough and smart enough not to ask more than I can of people. It’s not my place to make anyone change for me - and I would expect that no one would ever ask me to change for them. I'm really a simple person. I work, I sleep .. I hang out with my friends and my family. I carry on my days, trying to be stress free, waiting for that someone to come along who will stay put and do everything or nothing with me. It’s a tough spot to be in sometimes - having someone make the choice between their head and their heart. I've never been forced into that position and I can only hope I never will be. I have unfortunately been the one to bestow the decision upon others, and I feel for them. It would be tough for anyone to choose their future based on one person's feelings. It goes back to finding happiness in someone else. You can't throw it all into someone with your heart and soul and say they make you happy. Being "with" them or "the thought of them" makes you happy. It’s a guaranteed tough decision regardless - and I hate myself for making them go through it. I suppose I have to look out for myself once in a while though. It sucks too that they ultimately get to make the choice and mostly it isn't in my favor. I hate having other people make choices for me. It’s my life . . . thank you for not smoking.