Interpretation (again)

It seems that people continually misread my fiction and humor. They mistake it for what they want to believe or what they think I meant. Only I know what I meant and only I know what is true and what's not. I'll write it my way and you read it and think whatever you want. If you take time to chat with me then I'll explain what I meant, but please don't jump on my back without knowing what is in my head. Thanks for your time ..

Truth, like art, is in the eye of the beholder.

You believe what you choose and I'll believe what I know.

Ring Ring Ring

Truth be told I'd been thinking about her a lot lately. I told myself I wouldn't call unless she called me. My train of thought was that if she wasn't interested enough to call me, then there was no point in me calling her. Makes sense right? So the phone rang, out of the blue, and there she was. Jumping right back in my life after a month long leave of absence. We chatted a bit - nothing unusual. After the brief small talk she jumped right into asking me if I was single. It took me back a bit since I was used to asking her in hopes she'd say no and we could hook up. I told her yes and asked her in return and she said yes as well. Don't get excited - nothing came of it. Just more small talk to her apparently. We went on and caught up - jobs, living situation, "who are you hanging out with" and "have you heard from". Through the whole conversation I was partly happy to hear from her and partly pissed she'd called. I was a month into getting her and all the memories out of the back of my mind and just like that they were all rehashed again. Now she will float around again until I find someone else to occupy my thoughts. The only thing I can think off now is having enough balls to talk to my recent infatuation when I see her next. The likelihood of that isn't too great though. And to make matters worse I made plans with her during our conversation somehow so now I am obligated to see her, and I'm sure that'll make things worse because I know what will be on my mind surely wont be on hers. Just another day I suppose. I'm glad to be moving soon and taking another step in my mental cleansing. I have a lot on my mind at the moment and hopefully in a months time things will sort out into a new start so I can get myself back together. Hopefully.

Trials of Life

About 2 or 3 years ago there was this girl who used to come into the store quite often. I never really talked to her much, but from the first time I saw her I was totally infatuated. I got all choked up when I'd see her. Nervous. I wouldn't be able to say much to her. I want nothing more than to ask her out, but I could never seem to find the words. The unspoken encounters went on for nearly 2 years. One night I was out at a bar I never thought I'd be in minding my own - and there she was. She stood across the way, leaning on the wall. I could have just let it slide and pretended she was never there, but I made the mistake of telling one of my buddies who she was and how I knew her. In all his drunken splendor he made his was over to her - said something - and pointed my way. She came by and I introduced myself and that was about it. She left with her friends and I left with mine. The following evening however, she came into the store. I went up to her and made some bullshit small talk and eventually ended up with her number. We went out the following evening on what I considered an amazing date - she even gave me an incredible super long good night kiss. I didn't make a move at all - it was great. She was all over me. Long story short, I was on a supreme high - and then shot down as the days went by and I never heard from her again.

Blah blah - fast forward. There is a girl that works a few doors down that I havent really said much to in the year or so she's been there. Everyday I see her walk by and everyday I swear will be the day I ask her out. And here I am. I wonder what makes it so hard for me to say something. Fear of rejection? Maybe I'm afraid of the same outcome. I don't know what it is, but I sure hope I figure it out. I'm dying to take her out, but I'm too much of a pussy to say anything. Up until last week she had never set foot in the store either. And twice in the last three days I missed my prime opportunity when she came in. I feel stupid, but scared at the same time. Hopefully something will turn up - like my balls.

On a side note, I found out that a girl who I had hooked up with on a number of occasions got engaged last night. Yea . . .after she called me to make plans for her to come over tonight. That'll be a strong marriage huh? I find it amusing because I had no idea. She was using me. Love it. Love it.