Everyone has good days and bad days. Some days on my way to work I'll be incredibly happy and excited to start my day - for whatever reason. Then there are the times that I feel like shit, wondering where I'm headed or what I'm doing. Those "funks" are tough to pull out of, but normally don’t even last more than a day or two. It seems lately as well that many of my close friends have had their own various problems. It hurts me to see the people I care about get upset or distraught. I try my best to help when I can - even if it’s just a phone call to chat for a bit and take their mind off things. Sometimes I think that I'm the only one that has problems. The only one that doesn't have me figured out. But then I realize that’s not the case. No one truly knows whets going on 100% of the time. Some people are terribly good at faking it or just know how to manage it better than others.
I've been caught thinking about my love life - or lack there of - recently as well. My endless pursuit for the women of my dreams that never seems to be around. I've been engulfed in sappy movies a lot lately too. Sometimes they make me feel better with the fantasy that we all wish truly existed. I live vicariously through fictional characters and plots and in my head form my future. I get lost in them and sometimes, if only for a short while, lost myself and forget all my worries. I’ve been to a few places recently that remind me of my past relationships too. Most people have songs or movies that remind me of someone, but to me, it seems that certain places I frequent remind me of past girls. It’s kind of tough, because I don’t think of it at first, but after I’m exposed the memories flow back to me. I don’t try to purposely avoid these places, it’s just tough to be sitting at a restaurant eating and then start remembering the last time I was there with whoever it may be. I think about how we laughed and what we did after and how much I miss it. Just part of the ongoing battle in my head and in my heart I suppose.
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
