Everyone has good days and bad days. Some days on my way to work I'll be incredibly happy and excited to start my day - for whatever reason. Then there are the times that I feel like shit, wondering where I'm headed or what I'm doing. Those "funks" are tough to pull out of, but normally don’t even last more than a day or two. It seems lately as well that many of my close friends have had their own various problems. It hurts me to see the people I care about get upset or distraught. I try my best to help when I can - even if it’s just a phone call to chat for a bit and take their mind off things. Sometimes I think that I'm the only one that has problems. The only one that doesn't have me figured out. But then I realize that’s not the case. No one truly knows whets going on 100% of the time. Some people are terribly good at faking it or just know how to manage it better than others.
I've been caught thinking about my love life - or lack there of - recently as well. My endless pursuit for the women of my dreams that never seems to be around. I've been engulfed in sappy movies a lot lately too. Sometimes they make me feel better with the fantasy that we all wish truly existed. I live vicariously through fictional characters and plots and in my head form my future. I get lost in them and sometimes, if only for a short while, lost myself and forget all my worries. I’ve been to a few places recently that remind me of my past relationships too. Most people have songs or movies that remind me of someone, but to me, it seems that certain places I frequent remind me of past girls. It’s kind of tough, because I don’t think of it at first, but after I’m exposed the memories flow back to me. I don’t try to purposely avoid these places, it’s just tough to be sitting at a restaurant eating and then start remembering the last time I was there with whoever it may be. I think about how we laughed and what we did after and how much I miss it. Just part of the ongoing battle in my head and in my heart I suppose.
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
1 comment:
The endless pursuit for the woman of your dreams....it is when you stop pursuing, when you stop looking, when you are just being....that is when she will waltz into your life ever so sweetly. I believe it is only when we for a few moments become content within ourselves, content with our lives, when we finally feel like we have figured out this thing called life...I believe that is when love finds us. And, even if WE are ready, that doesnt mean that the other person is. Sometimes we are forced to wait because the person we are meant to be with just isnt quite there. So in the meantime, live a grateful life. Whether that be for your friends, your family, or your sweet son, live with a grateful heart. Be mindful of all that surrounds you that is truly a blessing. And in that, you will open your heart to the very thing you long for the most....the truest love you will ever know....
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