Another Day Another Ache

I think I watched The Notebook one too many times at work tonight. I should just stop all together because when I to the sentimental feelings just flow through me nonstop. Another learning experience to add to my books tonight. It was funny too because for once when I decided I was going to walk, I walked. I didn't think twice. I had a point to make and it was easier than in the past. I thought about doing something stupid and admitting to stupid mistakes I didn't even make, but I think I did the right think and diffused the situation in the easiest way possible. Things change so quickly and easily I am still amazed at times. Even in the plainest form beauty flows sweet. So comfortable yet not at the same time. When apart, the thoughts in my head glorify what truly isn't there. The love and affection seems to be felt from a distance - but in reality there is none - or not enough at least. I try to be smart but sometimes my gut isn't. I'm down with karma but I also like to think for myself. I listen to the opinions of my friends but at the same time I'll do as I please. The only true way to find out the answers to your questions is experience. I've found out many things for myself and many of those times the hard way. I sit and wait for the phone to ring - but then I think that maybe I'm waiting for it not to ring. I'm not sure what the outcome will be, but I think either way is okay with me. My pursuit seems endless at times. I think I try to make something out of what truly isn't there. It seems a light task but turns out to be to difficult to pursue. I rarely think of the future. I dream of what I want but don't try to hard to predict my own outcome. I wish there was an easier way to go about it all - like all of us had screeners. We could sit and wait until someone passed enough of our own predescribed tests to move on to the next level. I don't think I wasted my time. It was my time to give and did with it what I wanted. I don't think that I'd take it back either. Sure I may look back and think I was stupid, but thats how we learn isn't it? We can't make all the right decisions 100% of the time so it's good to screw up once in a while. No one got hurt and nothing was lost. Tomorrow is another sunny day. I'll run my routine and keep hoping that something comes my way.

People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
- unknown

Thoughts

I've learned a fair amount over the last week or so. Who my real friends are - the ones that are always there and know when you need them - even if its just to chat and take your mind off shit. That my family is still always there - when I need them the most, however much it hurts, they still have my back. What a relief it is to get rid of something I thought was something I needed - even if it wasn't my choice. My stress level has dissipated, or at least shifted to a better kind - if that makes any sense. I've had much more time to think and realize once again what it truly important to me. I've been through my share of hard times, not to say this is any better or worse, but I think I can cope better now when the going gets tough. I've seen the true colors of people where I never expected to, or at least tried to overlook. I've been surprised, and not surprised at the same time. I know that a solid ground is really all it takes to be happy. Broke, tired, sad or jobless - there is still much more to life no matter how hard it gets. New opportunities arise and new doors open. Times change and we roll with the punches and climb back to the top. My family and my two best friends always pick me up. I try my best not to rely on anyone else, but its good to know that when I need to I don't have to worry. I've dropped an ulcer from my life and I feel new again. Like I can finally put it behind - however hard it may be to recover - and move on to something better. Yes I am smart. I've been through enough to realize that. No one man and no one thing will ever keep me down. Trying to says a lot about the other person. Maybe take some time to look in the mirror and be secure with yourself before you unleash your insecurities on someone else. The stronger mind will always win over the stronger body.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... We are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll

My Thoughts

To sum up my feelings of the past few days ... don't worry, more to follow ..




Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us.
- Alexander Graham Bell