Forgive But Don't Forget

I've had it on my mind a lot as of late. I positively feel that you can't forget or "block out" any single part of a relationship gone bad. You must remember every piece of it and every minute of everyday. Doing away with the bad memories just creates a false bond that never existed. You create a fantasy where your mate was perfect. You remember all the times they made you smile and laugh. All the times you fell asleep next to each other. All the times you went out together or stayed home together. You don't remember all the times they made you cry. All the times you fought and refused to give in. All the times you got jealous or upset or knew in your mind it wouldn't work. Past relationships are all learning experiences for the future. They help us mold our vision of our perfect mate. They make us realize what we want in a person as well as in life. We learn from all our mistakes and experiences - good or bad - and use them to help us narrow our vision in the future. Anyone who tries to only remember the good points of a relationship is only kidding themself.

I had spent some time with a past love sometime after we had been split up. We laughed and smiled and enjoyed each others company. Constantly I asked myself why we shouldn't try again and constantly I had to hurt myself and recall the times I cried or yelled or got upset. It was difficult to do, but albeit the only way to make myself realize it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes we are engulfed by emotion and try and try until we are broken and tired. And most times that does more harm than good. I'm sure some people will say that time apart is good - and they mended their problems and everything worked out. I don't agree or disagree - however I think that you can only try so many times before you have to succumb to reality. There comes a point where you need to give in and realize what's right and what's not.

It hurts to lose someone. It hurts to know they will fall asleep next to someone else in the future and laugh and smile with them. Its that hurt that makes you want to work out the problems, but at the same time its what makes you realize its not meant to be. It's all a vicious circle. Basically - don't forget all the good times you had. And definitely never lose the bad times. Life is about learning, and then learning some more. We should never "try to forget" about any bad experiences. Doing so just makes a narrow minded ignorant person.

I'll end with this:

One cannot and must not try to erase the past

merely because it does not fit the present.