Good Friends

I got the chance to hang out with some good friends the other night. It's been quite a while since I've been able to spend any length of time with them so it was very nice. We hung out at a little coffee joint that reminded me of one of my favorite restaurants in California. We listened to some great music and chatted a bit. It made me miss the old days when I had much more free time to do with what I pleased. It seems that the people that I most like to be around are the hardest ones to spend time with. They all have jobs and families and the time we used to have so much of seems to have dwindled down to not much of anything at all. Family parties, holidays - seems that special occasions are the only times we have with each other. It just makes me think because the people that I find myself surrounded by constantly - most but not all - are really not the company I'd like to keep at all. I guess it just makes you appreciate good friends that much more - I know they'll always be there no matter if days, weeks or months go by - we'll still get together and it will seem like no time has passed at all. It makes me feel good having them as well for a release from my normal monotony. They are my sanctuary in a sense. I've always been able to go to them with my problems, or help them with theirs, and I think we are all good at distracting each other from the normalities or everyday life. They are all real people - they've lived and have real jobs and experienced life both good and bad and we all learn from each other and I love them for it.

I've been observing people a lot lately too. Looking into relationships of my friends and acquaintances. I think the last few relationships I was in taught me a lot about myself and also what I want. My sister told me after one of my breakups that perhaps the purpose of the relationship was soley to learn what I wanted. I was so distraught and blinded that it started to make sense when it was put in a different light. I observe my friends and listening to what they say about their relationships or what they want and don't and it seems that some of them don't have enough experience to know what they want. They say they know but they are young and haven't experienced life. I think about where I was years ago and girls that interested me and I thought I'd marry - and when I look back I have no idea what I was thinking. I too at the time thought I would be set for life and get married and live happily every after. I think there is a certain age when you begin to realize that life isn't just about going out being a "kid". Its about people and good conversations and experience. One of my favorite B movie quotes - "It's not the meaning of life, its the feeling of life". No one takes time to breath now. I'm surprised I've been single now as long as I have. Where I used to jump from one girl to the next - I feel I've learned from myself and know better what I want. I think that the easiest lessons are learned by make mistakes. The first time is experience - the next time is a mistake.


So many things rushing through my noggin lately. I'm inundated with nonsensical thoughts - like my brain is trying to sort out my life for me without asking me first. That's a treat ... I think I need a CAT Scan before I go all Butterfly Effect reading my own shit ...