Money or Sanity

. . .. That was my question for the day. I sat and thought a lot today. I feel that everyday I wake up in a monotonous twirl. Day by day the same happenings in and out. I know what to do and how to do it but I cant for some reason. I'm so content where I am that it makes it hard to thing about moving on to something I'm unsure of. I thought about it most of the day - more than normal - and weighed my options. It's tough to find something that will keep me sufficed to the point I'm at now - so it makes it harder than it should be to do something else. The money flows in but still I can't keep myself happy 100% of the time. I miss the old days of having half the job worries and being able to spend my free time the way I chose. Now it seems like the free time I do have I only want to sit on my couch or sleep - its the only sanity I can find in the sanctuary that I call home. Even that is hard since there is no time to clean or keep things in order the way I'd like. The days tick by and I sit and wonder still how to move on. I have my releases that are few and far between. I long for something out of the ordinary - even if only for a few minutes a day - good company and good conversation, good music or a trip somewhere unknown. I look forward to anything I can that breaks my routine. For now I sit and think and write to vent and get it all off my chest . . .